The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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