I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize