Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
