Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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