Ambien. No doubt about it.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there was a trapeze. enough said
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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