Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
