lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
