Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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