so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
