He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
