Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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