My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
