so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
