im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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