Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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