yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
