Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
