took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize