My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize