called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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