dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
