Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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