yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
