i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
