i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.