There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..