Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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