if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
