I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
