We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
only you would photoshop your dick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
