The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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