I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
