Do you still have your period?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
