Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
