I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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