Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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