i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
