Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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