I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize