It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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