Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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