also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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