he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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