I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
