i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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