While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize