I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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