so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
