I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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