Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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