I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
