After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
