hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
