I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
