I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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