Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
