I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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