my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
