did you get engaged???
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
