Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When did angry sex become our thing?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
