just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize