If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
