On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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