It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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