Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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