My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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