I CAN MOONWALK!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
