drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
