all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
