Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
