I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
