in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
