Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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