Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
