It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
