Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
