based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize