I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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